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| Time: | 8:56 pm. |
| Mood: |  sunny. | | Music: | Mushaboom-Feist. |
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I dont know why but I love these lyrics:
I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done
How many acres how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbors and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map
Old dirt road Knee deep snow
Watching the fire as we grow old
Old dirt road Rambling rose
Watching the fire as we grow well I'm sold
Sometimes I feel that life's too slow and I can't wait for the next day, week, month, or even year to come. But more often I think that life's going too fast. I don't like that along with time passing, friendships, people and relationships fade; maybe I'm being a two year old stomping my foot screaming "I dont want to go!!!" but honestly I must agree with my inner two year old. Time needs to slow down, or at least we need to look at the important things in life. so much stress surrounds us and with finals creeping up around the corner, life doesnt get any better I know. But summer's coming, and along with that, new opportunities will as well. I can't wait...who wants to jump on board with me?
Name the followin if ur interested!
a memory of me:
a nickname you have for me:
If you were in trouble would you come to me:
Have I ever helped you:
do I make you smile:
(if not I'm terribly sorry because I think smiles are absolutely the best thing in the world) and I guarantee you've made me smile.
I love you. I really and truly do.
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Thursday, April 28th, 2005
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| Time: | 8:48 pm. |
| Mood: |  content. | | Music: | waiting for love-pink. |
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Yup two entries today.
Maybe it's the spring that seems to make everything clearer. Maybe its the warmth that I've longed to feel on my face, but I suppose that's just me. I've grown to be so tired of people's judgements. We judge others, ourselves, and most of all, things we do not know. Why must we feel a need to put a label on something foreign to us? Why are we afraid to love anything before hating it first? Life is too short to be mean or just indecent. I'm growing tired of people that complain all the time, and I know I used to be one of them. But I'm happy to be alive and feel blessed with all the good that is in our world, but sometimes it seems to be forgotten or ignored. Where has all the good gone? People just need to appreciate themselves before concerning themselves about others. It's inevitable that we will come across people in life that just won't like us. And maybe that's okay. But it's at least time to set our priorities straight and not doubt anything, mock anything, and judge anything. Now I'm not directing this at anyone or towards any situation. I just think that everyone has the right to move forward in life. But that's just me.
And the turning of every new page
A book on a shelf that is there to remain
Breaking the walls as she's tearing them down
A she is starting to drown
[Chorus]
She's waiting for love
She's waiting, waiting for love
Waiting, waiting for love
She's waiting, waiting so long
-pink
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These are just some quotes from two of the books that I adore (im kinda a Lit Junkie)
I hope you enjoy them as much as I did :D
"...He would say that life was like a sculpture: a matter of seeing what others couldn't, then chiseling away the rest." -The Rule of Four
"The strong take from the weak, but the smart take from the strong." -The Rule of Four
"Don't approach something to draw as if you know what it is; approach it as if you've never experianced it before. Apprehend it by surprise. Startle it into liveliness." -Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister
"She sees herself as if in a memory, a distant and unchangeable figure." -Confessions
"But to be most effective, the faces of the children would need to be painted in a blur, the way all children's faces truly are. For they blur as they run; they blur as they grow and change so fast; and they blur to keep us from loving them too deeply, for their protection, and also for ours." -Confessions
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Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
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Happily Ever After
Lost my senses on that windy road
the only thing able to arise
behind the fog was your exhausted eyes
You hummed to me, something too revealing
Slowly unraveling what seemed to be nearing
Have you ever been to that place?
Where your thoughts resound in the halls
Everything is no longer a fear
Even found meaning for that glass-like tear
Too long have you carried that for everyone but you
You took my hand and led me to
That sanctuary where I found your heart too
Listen closely to that beat on leather skin
Walk to it and love the moment you're in
See the true beauty in your eyes
Know that you shouldn't run nor hide
Have you ever been to that place?
Where your thoughts resound in the halls
Everything is no longer a fear
Even found meaning for that glass-like tear
Too long have you carried that for everyone but you
Let it all escape from here
Discover what you consider truly clear
Create your own life
define your own laughter
that's the only way to my happily ever after
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| Time: | 7:10 pm. |
| Mood: |  optimistic. | | Music: | hey,hey-dispatch. |
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As cliche as it may sound, which is better; all or nothing?
With "all" you don't need anything else, you're content and satisfied in each and every way, but now what's the fun in that? Wouldn't you rather build up from nothing, even if it's merely for the satisfaction of looking back and seeing all that's been accomplished. Passion or security?
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Although the wind has cleared its path
I erased the memory of his scent
Built upon those empty dreams
Lied an empty pillow for where I used to rest
Too long ago were you my escape
Too much thought was spent on the beauty of your face
Let me go now, I must disappear
Before anything good will be undone
Any solace you would've found here
Is a mere tease, a mirage
anything but what it is.
You thought I was different
But I was all too the same
Every time you'd turn away
I'd silently weep and let you go
You believed me when I said
"It will be easier this way"
But you should have read my eyes
You should have felt my heart
You should have felt my cold hands
Breaking as you let go
I seemed at the time too dark
too vague
And now I'm left with my stupid pride
All because I couldn't let you inside
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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:42 pm. |
| Mood: |  oy. | | Music: | Es Otro Dia Mas Sin Verte- Jon Secada. |
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If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you.
(I like this rosario!)
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Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
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mwahahaha
Today's a bright and sunny day....ah I'm lovin it! It's so pretty seeing the mellow sun shine on the fading snow...unless you're driving or in the car because the glare is horrendous! But indoors it's soothing. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (I know shocking) and it's so much easier to think before actions. Not only for me but for others as well. You can't help what you feel reguarding anything and should never make excuses for yourself, otherwise you're hurting only yourself in the end. Also, denying that you have a chance concerning anything is always pointless...I know this from experiance. Doubting yourself really does hurt yourself and I assure you that it's not something to grown out of, but it is something to learn from.
I've learned that talking about things really do help, thanks to an extra rotaional period with gabster, em, and jeff....lunch with matt and fillin in sars when we get a chance to chat, notes in chem with rosario,peri, mazie, and so on...first period with anne...liz n seb in big b's class, of course long walks to classes with apsey and god anyone else I may have forgotten! I dont no it's just easier to rationalize things and not overanalyze when you have people that like you sayin "yeh that's stupid idea" but filled with love. =p
ah friendships do rock though.
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Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
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What is.....
Your first memory of me:
Something ive said to you that made you laugh:
What we'd do if we spent the day together:
Have i ever made you angry:
What would you change about me:
An embarrassing thing you've seen me do:
What you call me(nickname):
A memory we have:
p.s.
"he makes me giggle like an english schoolgirl"
now that marks the month of maturity
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Monday, February 28th, 2005
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I just need time for myself, not necessarily alone (without friends) but in other respects, yes I do need a break. There's a Dispatch line "question yourself, are you really what you dream?" Looking at myself I dont think I am at all. I aspire to be so much greater than I really am. I want to be a poet, a writer, a doctor, a philosopher, I dont no anything but a rambler which I seem to be right now. I want to be happy with myself before I can be happy with another person. You may think that I'm tryin to hide some pain or hurt, and yes things hurt, but it's part of life and I think the first step to my "life altering" aspirations, is to be mature about any situation which I encounter, or at the very least, realistic. There are going to be so many times in my life that I'll be hurting worse than I do now. But it seems to me that it's better to hurt if you cause your own pain. That way, you'll know what the cause was and maybe in retrospective you can actually heal yourself. I don't like burdening others with my problems, I think it's unnecessary and everyone is going though their own problems and hearing theirs truly helps me know I'm not alone. However I dont think that my telling them of mine will really benefit anyone but myself, and on top of this all I dont want to be selfish.
I don't know why I'm posting this really. Not looking for a specific response or anything of that nature, but I feel that I need a written explanation, for others and myself. Maybe this way I can clarify myself and let others know that I do care and feel. I must appear to others as numb, but if only I were to be so lucky. Sometimes that numbness seems like a blessing, not allowing pain, even if it were caused by themselves. I kinda just want be my own liberator in this mess I always seem to create with a smile on my face.
It’s been a long time, now I’m coming back home,
I’ve been away now, oh how I’ve been alone,
Wait till I come back to your side,
We’ll forget the tears we cried.
But if your heart breaks, don’t wait, turn me away,
And if your heart’s strong, hold on, I won’t delay,
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Saturday, February 26th, 2005
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| Time: | 12:09 am. |
| Mood: | content...like woah baby. |
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post something that you love, hate, envy, maybe even find comical. I'm in a miscellaneous sort of mood, haha something you dont need to explain...ah im lovin it! Im surprisingly upbeat considering this week's events...oy I believe is the correct word which explains the scenario. Remind me to tell you all before everyone says again "sabeen you forget to say anything." oops. I know, I know again so unbelievably descriptive. But if anyone leaves something, leave a comment, some passage you adore reading, a picture you find self-proclaiming, or some lil odd or end which lets you breathe more easily eh?
love it, and revolutionize it.
(because I said so and its fun to make a statement which people pretend to interpret and use as their own)
later lovelies
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Monday, February 21st, 2005
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| Subject: | Erase Me |
| Time: | 11:15 am. |
| Mood: |  accomplished. | | Music: | supremes-keep me hanging on. |
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here's a lil blurb:
And she whispers slowly
"Let come what may"
Put me on paper
Erase me away
Take that lonely teardrop
and let it evaporate into day
And she whispers slowly
"Let come what may"
Come a little closer
to prevent what may
Seem to be significant
on that fatal day
And she whispers slowly
"Let come what may"
as she walks so effortlessly
Into that viscous, never-ending day
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Sunday, February 6th, 2005
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You Are 20 Years Old |
20
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
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Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
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| Time: | 6:14 pm. |
| Mood: |  discombobulated. |
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farshnickle.
tomorrow should and will be fun.
lovely how people work isn't it?
Its been a long cold winter....I was hoping for someone's smile to shine through
I suppose that's far too much to ask
This is defineately over.
See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sun rise
From the tropic isle
Just remember darling
All the while
You belong to me
See the market place
In old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember
When a dream appears
You belong to me
And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too
Fly the ocean
In a silver plane
See the jungle
When it's wet with rain
Just remember till
You're home again
You belong to me
Oh I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too
Fly the ocean
In a silver plane
See the jungle
When it's wet with rain
Just remember till
You're home again
You belong to me
farshnickle squared.
beautious.
-me
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Friday, January 28th, 2005
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And of course now it's become clear to me
that the end is inevitable
Running away towards that black endless sky
is more than a mere escape for me
It's my calling, it's my eternity
to be sentenced to this imprisonment
call it what you must
but it's the only thing that's in the least
subsiding
This to me is beauty
Raw, unearthed, even kind
But, at the very least hurtful
If you can't understand, even if I can not
Then just realize that it's not meant to be understood
It's meant to be lived. Lives are to be lived.
Words are to be spoken. Love is to be set free.
This to me is beauty.
>>>btw if anyone wants to continue on with these anon. messages then please feel free to do so because it is truly refreshing as well as relieving. I highly recommend it
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Monday, January 24th, 2005
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| Time: | 8:53 pm. |
| Mood: |  nostalgic. | | Music: | Dispatch. |
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This is copied from Rosario, emilini, and sarah, but is quite a good idea as I have left one on theirs and felt much better. So here it is; my journal from me to you for your personal use of venting. Leave a random thought, painful tear, a shy smile, or even some deep dark secret you've been waiting to tell me like how annoying I am. ;) Either way it's here for you so let it rip.
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Saturday, January 1st, 2005
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~~~
Here comes the sun,
Here comes the sun, and I say
it's all right
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun,
Here comes the sun, and I say
it's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun,
Here comes the sun, and I say
it's all right
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun,
Here comes the sun, and I say
it's all right
Here comes the sun,
Here comes the sun, and I say
it's all right
it's all right
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Saturday, December 18th, 2004
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| Time: | 11:24 pm. |
| Mood: | cynical. |
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Giving up is all I've learned to do
so with this fake smile I'll return to you
I should be used to this cycle by now
not knowing why I cant stop or even how
Nothing compares to what has been missed
the only thing you felt was that fatal kiss
Little did you know that I'd still be here
couldn't even do anything but disappear
Away I went into this darkness
of a make-believe tale without any mess
But alas, all of these loose ends refuse to be untied
No longer willing to settle for anything beneath the sky
I only hope one day I can dwell
and escape from this self-created hell
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Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
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Shimmering rays of the sun settle
upon what used to be her smile
Pure elegance rests
upon her wrinkled velvet dress
She waits for the arrival of anyone
to help her escape from this perfect mess
I too remember that day
when we each said our goodbyes
hoping to find a brighter way
Maybe even lift the grey cloud off of the
loss of innocence
But all that seemed to disappear
was swept beneath a distorted image of life
My sin only to return and never prevail
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Wednesday, December 8th, 2004
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Lyrics to live by:
"Good friends we've had and
good friends we've lost along the way
In this refuge you cant forget your past
so dry your tears I say
No woman no cry"
We're gonna come to times in our life when we're going have to let it go. Sometimes even all of it has to go. But you can't dwell in the past. No, you have to move on. For the sake of yourself. Save yourself, help yourself, answer your own questions even prayers. Love yourself or others won't. Believe that you are what you are and that's better than anyone has to say. Breathe in and let it go. Everything's going to be alright. always here, me
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
been89's journal
determined.
Mesmerized.
mischievous.
ho hum cherry bum.
grateful.
ready...set...go!.
it's gonna be okay.
hopeful.